Memoir

Julia ELA Writing 9/23/08

// All Good Things Come To an End //
I remember myself being that innocent, goody good girl for as long as I can think of, until that year. That year shattered my heart, but rebuilt my confidence and viewpoint. That year I met this girl, Cecily. I never trusted or believed in anyone like I believed in her. She was really honest to me and slowly gained my trust. But there was a catch. All good things come with catches. Ron bent down and gave Cecily a light kiss on the apples of her cheeks. His smooth voice echoed out, “I’ll see you after school.” Cecily reached for his hoop necklace lying onto of his green striped “American Eagle” oxford shirt wither long and slim fingers. His lips brushed passed her ruffled black hair as he eyed the empty hallways. The dim lights lit up the narrow hallway, crumbled post-its laid all around, clearly everyone fled to class hearing the late bell ring. He ran to class and Cecily parted. Cecily walked slowly to Math thinking about last night’s homework. When I looked up from my notebook I saw Cecily next to me and Mr. Hak going on with his usual lecture about algebra. I noticed that Cecily wore a light blue sweater, a pair of dark boot cut jeans, and a pair of soft plaid flats. //Maybe she is going out with Ron later.// A quiet thud on my desk startled me from copying my notes. A bright pink post-it was folded into quarters with faint black ink coming through the other side. I reached for it and unfolded it. It was scribbled in that familiar handwriting. Cecily told me to wait for her after class ended. The sharp ring of the bell made everyone jump. Everybody rushed out as I paced to Cecily. Her high soprano voice sang out, “Hey, you want to hang out after school with Ron and some of his other friends?” I thought for a second scanning my homework assignments and replied, “Sure.” I headed out the door. I was so excited that the day was finally over. After all it was hard to juggle quizzes, projects, home works, notes and everything without being exhausted. I definitely deserved a break. Hanging out sounded great! I sat on the cool steps at the entrance of our school waiting for Cecily. I kicked the hard cement ground with my silk blue flats as the shadows whished by me. My head turned slowly to find Cecily and Ron, their hands sealed together in a weaving. I glanced briefly at the others, finding some familiar faces. Aaron and Ben were in my class. I knew Eric and Dylan already and there were a couple more new faces. //Great, new people too. It just means more friends and hugs to give in hallways.// Cecily suggested Starbucks and a couple heads nodded. Starbucks sounded great to me I really needed to refresh my mind. Ben‘s soothing voice came out above the noise to ask, “Hey, what are you ordering?” I tried to scream over the cluster of voices, “A tall Vanilla Latte.” Ben showed me his fiber Starbuck’s cup that printed in black ink, Vanilla Latte. He smiled that break taking smile of his and walked away. When I was on the train my mind wandered around thinking about this new life style. //Is this what I want? I mean, all these people are nice but I don’t exactly have the best feelings about this.// I push open the warm wood color doors to my room. I thought a shower might wash away my bad thoughts. //Try to be optimistic, Julia. Maybe this year will be different, exciting, and interesting.// The last bell rang as I picked my Kelly green messenger bag form the Brooklyn Industries. Overwhelmed by all the quizzes and projects due tomorrow, I decided to walk around the pier just to have some fresh air and wind. I dragged myself from my metal chair and headed out for the pier. I walked slowly noticing the un-even gray brick like pavements. I observed the dried out, stomped on cigarette butts lying on the streets and between the pavements. Then my eye reached across a pair of navy blue sneakers, with that huge check resembling “Nike.” I look up and find Ben’s face. I glanced slowly at his “Abercrombie and Fitch” grey oxford shirt and his dark wash jeans. I gave him my causal smile and continued walking. I looked down at my knee length brown suede flat boots and walked slowly with no directions in my mind, continuing to notice some crumpled receipts and napkins. To my surprise he followed me, slightly inches behind. I found that rich wood color bench and sat there. He sat next to me and looked at me, intensely. His gaze scared me for a second till his voice brought me back to reality. He begins, “So, why are you here?” I try to find my words and stammered, “Umm… nothing really much.” Not really convinced with my answer he starts the conversation again, “I like it here, it’s quite and peaceful.” Not knowing what to say, I nodded my head and turned around to reach for my book, “Go Ask Alice” in my bag. I just sat there reading. The next minute I look up Ben is not there anymore. //He probably left. Seriously, what could he possibly be doing here when he could go hang out with all his other friends?// I tried to concentrate on Alice’s troubles, but I was just too distracted. I look up searching for something to look at. Then and there he popped out again. Ben appeared with two cups of Starbucks and flashes his grin. He sits back down and we simply sat there with our Vanilla Latte and books. With him sitting here there was this nuzzled and faint fresh scent of the rain. I lay in my bed, warm against the cream colored fleece blanket I received last Christmas from my grandma. The room was so warm with the window opened and the sun shining on my skin, but I was cold somehow. I pressed my teeth down to the tips of my tender lips. //Was this really happening? Out of all these people I am chosen to be friends with these glamorous people. This year is going to be a very special year I just know it!// I couldn’t help but laugh at my good luck. Then all of a sudden Ms. Lam calls my name. She asks me how the Reconstruction period ended. I stammer for a second and reply, “The Compromise of 1877 ended it.” Ms. Lam nods her head as I continue my silent laughter. Cecily told me she would introduce some new friends to me after school. I rushed out of the classroom hurrying to meet Cecily at 3:00. Cecily’s clear voice ranged out, “This is Julia, Asia, Jennifer, and Alex” slowly pointing to each of us as an introduction. I smiled to them as we started walking. All of a sudden the trees seemed more green, the flowers more gorgeous, the sun more radiant, the oxygen more fresh, and the world much prettier then it was before. Ben, Aaron, and Ron were walking behind us talking about last night’s basketball game. I slowed my pace to match Ben’s and started talking to him. As I was talking to Ben I felt the cautious eyes from the girls staring at me. //Why are they looking at me like that?// //Did I do something wrong?// Before I could continue on with my flow of thoughts Ben interrupted. Ben’s voice echoed out, “I see you tomorrow.” I responded with a nod and a smile. //Maybe nothing was wrong after all. Ben seems nice and I always have Cecily.// I climbed into my king sized bed still smiling about the year I had ahead of me with my friends. I was wrapped in a long light gray cardigan that hugged my waist tightly. My faded blue jeans were tucked in with my brown suede boots. I look totally normal to myself but while was walking in the crowed hallways I heard snickers and my name. I tried to ignore it and headed out to lunch with Cecily. I walked to the market near our school and bought a bottle of “Poland Spring” water. Being next to Cecily had always made me felt so comforting. Maybe it’s her warm vanilla musket scent that leaves people feeling so soothed. Cecily’s black cardigan hugged her curves perfectly. I was studying her faded blue jeans and tall brown boots until I heard my name being screamed out. The voice startled me for I recognize it. I turned around and found Jennifer’s face as she screamed, “Julia is a b.” I looked in disbelief as I felt my hot tears swelling up in my eyes. They were just about to fall as Cecily pulled me away. I couldn’t move. I felt like my feet were glued down to the hard cement. My eyes just stared at the dirty ground covered with leaves and dried up gum. That was exactly what I felt like, the hard and dirty floor. Being stepped on and being covered up with trash. Cecily tugged me harder and pulled me away. The tears rolled down my face as I thought to myself //why did they do that? What did I ever do they them to deserve such punishment and pain? What did I do wrong? How could she embarrass me like that and make such a claim in public???// I walked back home thinking of excuses for them. //Maybe they were not talking to me. It’s probably another Julia.// But I couldn’t lie to myself. I climbed onto my comforting bed and started to cry. The hot tears burned my cheeks violently. My hair was tangled and my face was so wet you would think that I just took a shower. I finally came to a stop deciding that I would ignore it and act as if nothing happened. I dressed in black trench coat and jeans, hoping to blend in. My plan was clearly unsuccessful as Ms. Rebere said loudly, “I had received comments regarding the quiz’s difficulty but Julia managed to get a 96.” I was glad to know that my hard work paid off but why this day when I wanted to be unnoticed? I tired to force a smile as Ms. Rebere handed back my quiz but I just couldn’t bring my self to smile when I felt like bursting into tears right this instance. When class ended I tried to walk as quickly as possible avoiding all people, but somehow the hallways looked extra crowded and full of stares today. Once again my plan didn’t work out, Jennifer spotted me and pushed me against the wall and yelled harshly, “Excuse me.” Franticly I looked around to notice all the eyes on me as I said sorry softly. I ran to my next class and heard the people next to me chattering. One said, “Did you hear about Julia?” The other one replied, “Of course, I heard she stole things, curses, yells at people, take friends, take away boyfriends, and is so mean.” Shocked by their conversation I realized what was happening. I became that mean and horrible girl everybody hated. My heart thumped like it has never beated before. I could taste my salty tears around the corner of my lips. Desperate to leave the school, I rushed out of the narrow hallways after the last bell without a word. //Why is this happening to me? Why me out of all these people? Why did they bring me to heaven and pull me down to hell telling me it was a mistake? Was it because they thought I was taking away her friends like the girls said in the hallway? Or is it that she just doesn’t like me?// Between all my puzzled thoughts I heard my phone ring in a steady beat one two three ring repeating the pattern three times before I actually answered it. I raised the stone color phone to my ears and said, “Hello.” On the other end Cecily murmured, “Go to Asia’s Myspace and read what she wrote.” I hung up reluctantly not sure if I should see her Myspace or not. //Should I look at it? What does it say now? Is it something that is better off without me knowing?// I ended my questions by opening my internet explorer. On the top of the page her name was printed in black heavy script, her photos of her and her friends were spread out around the corners. When I arrived at her page I read those words slowly digesting every single thing she said. It clearly printed in the center of the black page “Julia is b.” Right then and there I started bursting into tears. The tears slowly dripped down to my check, my lips, and my neck. It felt like rain on your face only not refreshing and there’s no umbrella to cover you. //Why did they have to do this? Now everything is publicized and the whole world thinks I’m that crazy lady. The whole school probably knows about it since her Myspace is not private. Should I transfer schools? What should I do now?// Before, I decided on anything I really wanted to find out the reason behind all this. Besides I have nothing to lose. If I can’t handle it, I’ll transfer and if I can figure this out, great. I called Cecily and asked her for Asia’s phone number. My sweaty hands reached for the phone as I dialed slowly wondering how I should begin this awkward conversation. //I hope this works out!// The steady rings echoed out to the other line. Slow booming at a constant pace just scared me even more. Asia voice startled me before I could think of something. She began with, “Hello.” I hesitantly replied, “It’s Julia.” There was a minute of silence before I could find my voice again. I only heard the soft music coming out of my cream colored speakers bellowing out “Imagine Me Without You” by Jaci Velasquez. I cleared my throat and said, “I’m sorry about what happened with us but I really didn’t do anything to you guys. Why are you doing this to me?” She stammered and replied, “Well, actually Jennifer told me that you were spreading rumors about me and talking behind my back and she suggested some ideas. She said that you said things about me that sounded completely disgusting and repulsive.” I took in a deep breath and manage to choke out, “I really didn’t do anything. Why would I do such thing in the first place? Trust me, and about the things between us let’s just forget about it. There’s no reason to still be angry anymore. It isn’t worth it.” Asia’s kind and calm voice surprised me, “Yeah, I’m sorry too, let’s just stop this tangled mess and forget about everything that happened.” We hung up and I breathed my first calm and joyful breath since like forever. I was truly glad now that I cleared up the mess between us. The whole room glowed and shimmered like a lighthouse off in Cape Cod shining brightly. My room seemed so bright and colorful now. The doors created a warm touch and my bed no longer provided me a spot to cry, the bookcase is now ready for me to go on about with my usual readings. Everything seemed like the way it was before, quiet, peaceful, and soothing. Now I knew I needed to avoid Jennifer and simply be myself again. //Finally, life is back to normal again. I no longer need to worry all day long about this and that. I even made a friend. Maybe this situation wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. Maybe I just over thought about it and exaggerated it a little bit.// Even though this wasn’t one of the most memorable moments in my life but I matured and changed. I’m no longer that girl whose vulnerability is an advantage to others. I’m more aware with who I hang out with and what I do. I am proud of myself and I embrace this one of a kind experience! After all not many would get a chance to experience what I did. This incident made me think back to the old saying “All good things comes with catches or prices.” People say good things always end in a matter of time and some has a price for you to pay. It forced me to believe in it and maybe it is true, but I will savor every moment of the good times even if it does have to end.

Note: All character’s names used in this memoir (besides the author) have been substituted to give privacy to the actual people. Thanks!